I've been a heart breaker since I was just a little boy. My first girlfriend was way back in Kindergarten, but I had to break things off because she was getting a little too clingy. I'm down to cuddle, but when it's actually nap time I need my space. Plus, I can't have a woman tying me down when I just want to go outside and play. I learned early on that the best way to get a woman to like you though is to just be a dick. If she wants to give you kisses, be sure to dodge for a decent amount of time. Then, when you finally let her plant one on you, celebrate like Chad Ochocinco. She will be instantly wrapped around your chubby little finger. Here's a video of me back during my days in Russia.
via Guyism
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