Conan O'Brien Needs To Abandon The Monologue

I'll admit it; I love watching Conan. I don't watch it at night because I have better things to do, but I watch clips the next day online. One fact has always been very clear though; he really needs to abandon his opening monologue. While his banter with Andy Richter is always entertaining, the actual jokes are god awful. For someone with a full staff or writers, you'd think they could come up with a few solid jokes. He should just go write into skits and interviews, where he excels.

Ex. 1: The call-in portion of the Larry King show really took off when the telephone was invented.

Really? Larry King is old...that's what you are going with?

EX 2: Upon hearing that his OK Cupid profile was leaked, Julian Assange was furious and said "some things are supposed to be private!"

He knew right away that this joke sucked. This is the sort of joke that the annoying guy in your office makes and thinks is hysterical.

EX 3: Costco will no longer be selling Apple products. No one wants to buy a 124-pack of iPads

We get it, Costco sells things in bulk. Now make with the jokes.

EX 4. An all-female team won CBS' the Amazing Race, they described that their secret technique was asking directions.

Holy shit! Men don't ask for directions and women do? Groundbreaking!

Ex 5: In a recent survey, the most hated emoticon is the smiley face with his tongue sticking out. What most people don't realize is that he's not making fun of you, he's just having a seizure.

I don't even know what to make of this. Was it a throw-away?

EX 6. The Olive Garden sponsored a contest where the winner gets a trip to Italy. I don't know about you, but I'm hoping the winner is their chef.

Finally a good one! 1/6 doesn't even cut it in baseball though, where getting a hit 30% of the time is considered great.


Who says late night talk shows have to have an opening monologue anyways? Just get to the good stuff and stop wasting the first 10 minutes of the show.