Did I Mention I Like To Dance?

It's Friday. Simple statement right? But nothing pisses me off more than those two little words (is a contraction considered one word or two?). It's not that I don't love Fridays; it's pretty clear that I do. What I don't like is using the phrase "It's Friday" to answer a question. On far too many occasions I'll ask someone how they're doing and that will be there response.

Me: Good morning, how you doin' today? (I'm quite conversational with those protecting my office life)
Guard: It's Friday
Me: MOTTTTTHHHHHHEEERRRRRRR FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKEERRRR!!!! (said in my head)

What does that even mean? Your wife cheats on you, your daughter's a whore, and you're three months late on your mortgage payment, but it's all ok because it's Friday? How do I know you aren't working tomorrow anyways? You are a security guard. Are you just saying it because you think it's what I want to hear? It's not. Fuck you, and fuck Friday.

I don't want you to think I'm anti being happy it's Friday though. I wake up every week with a pep in my step, as they say, knowing that it's about to be the weekend. Instead of being groggy and unhappy tomorrow, I can be tired and hungover. While I'm not a fan of either of those, they are 100x better than work. I am especially excited this weekend because I just discovered the greatest song ever. If this doesn't make you want to go directly to a bar, drink to the point where you don't care what people think, and dance up a storm, there is something seriously wrong with you. I will be burning this to a CD, making a vinyl record, and copying it to a jump-drive so I can take it with me to every bar henceforth. That way DJs have no excuse not to play it. Then again, I am fairly certain they all already have it and feel the exact same way I do.




After seeing this, I quickly mobilized The Flint Skinny research department to learn more about this incredible artist. I found They discovered that Flynt Flossy is the founding father of Turquoise Jeep Records. Other members of the greatest rap names ever label include Whatchyamacallit, Yung Humma (who looks a lot like Pooty Tang), Pretty Raheen, and Slick Mahony. Their producer, with a name 10x better than Will.i.am, is Tummiscratch Beats. They've previously opened for Big Boi and recently released and album title Keep Jeep Ridin', which you can get on itunes.


The song Lemme Smang It is up for Lyric of the Millennium:

That's what I like to call "Smash Bang fusion"
Gotta focus, mama don't wanna get a "Cooch Contusion"

If you thirst for greatness still isn't sated, you can head to their youtube channel for more. Full disclosure though, I already took the two best songs.