As some of you are aware, I took a trip out to Washington DC to surprise a friend for his birthday. Yeah, I'm a real sweetheart like that. Really I just needed a change of drinking scenery because Chicago can only handle so much of me. A few highlights of the trip:
- Dressing like a pirate in a bar at 1pm
- Watching a man total 9 in a game of bowling
- Consuming 878 ounces of beer from table-taps.
- Having a drink called a "Bloody Tampon"
- Seeing someone puke into two different glasses before going to the bathroom.
- Claiming I didn't know him and getting a two free drinks for my inconvenience.
- Getting kicked out of the bar.
- Hearing the term "hideous butt possum"
- Bloody Mary's with bacon in them
- Re-discovering the drunk octopus
Nothing from the trip really stands out quite as much as the lack of effective security at the airport though. That picture up top is a credit card survival tool that I keep in my wallet. I'm not gonna lie, I got it because I thought having a bottle opener in your wallet was pretty badass. I had completely forgotten it was in there until I landed in DC. It's not like I had flown out of Flint either; the Chicago O'Hare (3rd busiest in the world) TSA let me through without incident. While they are busy confiscating nail clippers, tweezers, and shampoo over 3 ounces, I rolled right by with knife, screw driver, and saw. No big deal right? Next time you fly, just remember there could be some nutjob like me sitting behind you with a knife
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