I've done some pretty shitty stuff in my life, but even I haven't stooped this low. Breaking up on Valentine's Day just seems like a bad move. If you're are at the point where that's in the cards, you have two much better options. You can get it over with beforehand so that you are free to go to some Valentine's Day singles party AKA the easiest place on earth to get laid. Seriously, if you can't take a girl/guy home at one of those, you should climb to the top of a skyscraper and consider stepping off. The other option is to wait until the day after. Half-ass your gift, since there's no reason to waste a bunch of money at this point, but be sure you give enough to still get some. You'd hate to have your last night ever together end without carnal pleasure. The next day just throw her a sideways peace sign, yell deuces, and get the hell out of there. Just be sure you left a breakup note somewhere that she can't pretend she didn't find it.
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